Velociraptors

Submitted by FinalCard on Thu, 2012-04-12 11:34

Dates Roasted: 4/12/12
Aka: DinosaurBirds
Best Known For: Testing the fence for weaknesses

Everything I know about Velociraptors I learned from Jurassic Park, which is to say I pretty much know everything there is to know about them. Anyway, they spent so long preying on and bullying other dinosaurs it’s about time someone took them down a peg.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dinosa...

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Comments

65+ million years after their extinction it should now hopefully be safe enough to roast them.

Submitted by FinalCard on Thu, 2012-04-12 11:35

I formally petition the discovery channel to make a Velociraptor Week that follows Shark Week. It would be the scariest and best two weeks of our lives.

Submitted by iRoast on Thu, 2012-04-12 11:40

From wikipedia i learned about a new theory of how raptors killed.

"This model, known as the "raptor prey restraint" (RPR) model of predation, proposes that dromaeosaurs killed their prey in a manner very similar to extant accipitrid birds of prey: by leaping onto their quarry, pinning it under their body weight, and gripping it tightly with the large, sickle-shaped claws."

...sounds like my ex

Submitted by PinkBerryCrunch on Thu, 2012-04-12 12:22

Apparently raptors were actually very short, no taller then a large chicken. Also, they apparently were feathered and did not usually hunt in groups. I don't even need to be clever here, the truth makes them look worse and worse all the time

Submitted by erasmus on Thu, 2012-04-12 13:18

this could happen to you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKRnEOUxZm0

Submitted by Zwanze on Thu, 2012-04-12 15:05

Velociraptors would be sweet pets. Your mom comes into to yell for not cleaning your room, and bam! VELOCIRAPTOR ATTACK.

Submitted by DarkMagician on Thu, 2012-04-12 16:42

65+ million years ago

Velociraptor 1: I'm the best. I'd eat you up in a second
Velociraptor 2: Yeah whatever man, the only way you'd beat me if some gigantic space rock came and knocked me and my whole gang of buddies out and you managed to attack while I'm down. That'll never happen.

Submitted by CourtesyFlush on Sat, 2012-04-14 11:48

The worst part is velociraptors know how to use doorknobs.

Submitted by saetep on Wed, 2012-04-18 23:55

Chris Bosh is definitely one. Look at this http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kqo3OKVDnv4/TU.... They definitely did not evolve into birds

Submitted by DarkMagician on Tue, 2012-05-01 15:44

Guns don't kill people, velociraptors kill people.

Submitted by CurlyHair on Mon, 2012-07-16 12:31