The SAT

Submitted by FinalCard on Wed, 2012-03-21 11:32

Dates Roasted: 3/21/12
Aka: a waste of money
Best Known For: Highway Robbery

The entire standardized test preparation industry is a complete racket, but none more so than the SAT. There is a large body of research out there questioning just how effective standardized tests like the SAT are at measuring anything. However, many colleges REQUIRE you to take the SATs. Oh by the way, between preparation books, tutoring, instructional cds, and the test itself you only have to pay a few trillion dollars. Makes you wonder

Img Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:SAT_Gr...

Comments

There is little doubt in my mind that the standardized test industry, particularly the SAT, is greasing the palms of several institutions and former academic coordinaters. You have a test that clearly doesn't test your aptitude for anything, yet schools require it for you to apply. Almost every college hopeful takes the SAT. Now consider that the test prep industry makes over 6 billion dollars annually.

Why the hell didn't I think of creating standardized tests.

Submitted by FinalCard on Wed, 2012-03-21 11:35

One thing worth mentioning is that the test changes every year. That means if you buy a practice book for your kid one year, the next year your other child will need to purchase ANOTHER book that readies them for this new SAT.

Submitted by Zwanze on Wed, 2012-03-21 11:38

If I can't solve the question in the image what does that mean

Submitted by playahater on Wed, 2012-03-21 13:51

@playahater it means you were probably a liberal arts major

Submitted by Old_Senile on Wed, 2012-03-21 14:24

excuse me, do you know who I am?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9TMp_H1A7Q

Submitted by Sporadic on Wed, 2012-03-21 14:36

part of the issue is that much of the test prep supplies require large loads of money. A student who takes a $1,500 dollar online video course may have an edge over one who only has what they learn in high school classes. In this way, the SAT is extremely biased in favor of economically priviledged families.

Submitted by Caufield on Wed, 2012-03-21 14:40

the best commentary without doubt on the SAT
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert...

Submitted by bit on Wed, 2012-03-21 14:44

I took the SAT and did well on it and got into a good college, but life hasn't really worked out.

I want my money back

Submitted by PinkBerryCrunch on Wed, 2012-03-21 15:31

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

The SAT should test creativity

Submitted by SurlyPenguin on Wed, 2012-03-21 15:54

-Question from a physics exam n at the University of Washington
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Theresa Banyan during my Freshman year, that '...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

He got the only A but didn't do so hot on his SATs.
Meaning? SATs are dumb

Submitted by mcFart on Wed, 2012-03-21 16:02

I don't normally post twice on the same thread, but the comment below mine is currently the longest comment on PublicRoast so congratulations I guess. Of course it isn't exactly on topic as it does not really touch on the SAT until the very end, but it is clever and related to test taking so I'll allow it. I lied and embellished on each one of my SAT essays. I told them I was a nobel laureate winning the award for having proven that you CAN cry underwater. My score, not surprisingly was high.

Submitted by FinalCard on Wed, 2012-03-21 16:18

There's a right triangle. Two of the lengths of the sides are given. A student was asked to find x (which was the length of the hypotenuse). The student circled the x, and put an arrow with a bit of text saying: x is right here.

Submitted by Mithra on Wed, 2012-03-21 16:27

this sums it up
http://cdn.smosh.com/sites/default/files...

Submitted by Natsu on Wed, 2012-03-21 16:49

Since the SAT I don't think i've used geometry once

Submitted by LostSoul on Wed, 2012-03-21 16:59

another gigantic issue is that the prestige of many colleges nowadays is tied to their exclusivity. The more people they reject the more desirous they seem. By having arbitrary standardized tests that force potential students to work hard to take them, this exclusivity can be categorized. Oh you only got a 2,000 on your SAT? That's not up to our standards so you won't get it in. This in turn reinforces peoples need to buy study materials and tutors to prepare harder and longe because people want to get into these exclusive schools. Brilliant. University administrations and test prep business CEOs should be in charge of our economy.

Submitted by iRoast on Wed, 2012-03-21 17:13

i can't even spell SAT

Submitted by uneasy on Wed, 2012-03-21 17:35

The worst part of the SAT is tthe vocabulary section. Talk about a section based entirely off of luck. You could study 2,000 words and still not get the one they give. The difference between a college considering your application or not could be based on whether or not your lucky enough to get a word you know.

Submitted by muffinMan on Wed, 2012-03-21 19:44

The answer to the image/question is 14. If you were wondering about my intellect, yes I wear glasses.

Submitted by ThunderCats on Thu, 2012-03-22 11:34

Everyone commenting on this roast clearly works for the American Testing College (which owns the ACT tests). Sorry college board, no friends here.

Submitted by bountyhunter on Thu, 2012-03-22 11:48

when in doubt... cheat.

you won't get caught

Submitted by Hobbes on Thu, 2012-03-22 12:46

The SAT was worthless. I went to state school

Submitted by Incidental on Fri, 2012-03-23 11:28

i'm applying to college board for a job right now

Submitted by FueledBySkill on Fri, 2012-03-23 12:23

The key to success on the SAT writing section is to lie. They don't know anything about you so be creative. In my essay, I saved a modern day princess and traveled through the Yucatan migrating with the wildebeasts. Perfect 800. Perfect lie

Submitted by DarkMagician on Thu, 2012-04-12 16:50

They always said that the best investment is education. Standardized tests proved that saying true.

Submitted by royalB on Tue, 2012-04-17 20:09

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/upload...

there's truth here

Submitted by Koreans on Mon, 2012-06-04 16:37

If colleges care more about your SAT scores then who you are as a person then good for them. You probably suck

Submitted by Gambit on Wed, 2012-08-15 23:25