Victoria's Secret

Best Known For: Strong feminist support
Aka: Clothing line

It’s like when you were a kid and a friend would tell you they had a secret. Naturally, when they told you they had a secret you then wanted to know what is was very badly. But of course, to annoy you, they refused to tell and you began to doubt if they actually had a secret in the first place.

Img Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A...

Halloween

Best Known For: Hocus Pocus the Disney Movie
Aka: All Hallows Eve

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat . . . no thank you." ~ Rita Rudner

Img Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:H...

Mitt Romney

Aka: The Waffler
Best Known For: Amazing hair

The much alluded to but never before seen or directly addressed magical tax plan has finally arrived. See it here: http://www.romneytaxplan.com/

Img Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:M...

Barack Obama

Aka: The Yes We Can Man
Best Known For: Caring for us.

Look kids…. Obama has the youth vote. He’s hip. He’s with it. He knows the Macarena better than anyone. And if that dance is still popular he’ll prove to you once and for all that he deserves the youth vote.

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Roger Goodell

Aka: The NFL Commisioner
Best Known For: Failing at being the NFL Commissioner

Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with the NFL, isn't there?

Img Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:R...

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